Former ‘Pussycat Dolls’ singer Nicole Scherzinger has revealed that during her time with the band, she secretly suffered from bulimia in private. Nicole admits that at the time, she “hated herself” and was so embarrassed. She admits that despite being in the successful girl group, she felt the most alone she had ever felt:
”I just hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life. I did it every day for, like, years. Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I’d try to hide those. I think the girls could tell.”
Nicole says that she became addicted to hurting herself and causing herself harm, but never wanted to tell anyone about her problems because she didn’t want to be the victim or have her family find out about her struggles. She candidly says that the eating disorder became her way of controlling herself when she wasn’t on stage performing and feeling the buzz from the crowd:
”’It’s embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know. I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction. It’s like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I’d be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction”
