Drake And Nicki Minaj Are Not Married, World Collectively Shrugs

Rumors were a-flurryin’ this weekend that singer/rapper/teen soap enthusiast Drake and some frequently be-wigged person named Nicki Minaj had become this summer’s latest couple to have a secret wedding. Speculation was set in motion by tweets from both performers.

Drake seemed to have finally made some progress in his admitted longtime crush when he tweeted:

“Please refer to Nicki Minaj as Mrs. Aubrey Drake Graham and don’t stare at her too long. She’s finally mine.”

Minaj replied:

“Yes, it’s true. Drake and I tied the knot.”

A representative for Minaj denied that the two were married, saying that it was a joke. You hear that, people? It was just a joke. Please return to your regularly-scheduled lives, and someone get those Japanese girls off the volcano; those vents haven’t been the same since Valentino died.