10 Weirdest Celebrity Couples

Know when you dated that totally weird dude who was borderline Albino and had an orchid collection? was so not like you but there was something about it…well, some couples do that same darn stuff. And you know what, I love those crazies for it.  Here’s a salute to ten celebrity couples that the universe is still puzzling over!

1.  Marilyn Manson & Evan Rachel Wood

He’s a crazy weird music maker dude, and she’s a prissy Aryan actress. Together? It’s like a weird Catholic nightmare.

2.  Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz

He was supposed to be all alternative musician, and she was this weird little pop princess.  I mean, remember the lip sychning incident on SNL? If Petey was still attracted to Ashley after that, I guess it’s love?

3.  Seal & Heidi Klum

She’s an internationally renowned German supermodel and he’s a shiny burn victim from I forget where.  Oh yeah, and he sung that song “Kissed By A Rose” that my mom really likes.

4. Eva Longoria & Tony Parker

Even from this picture it’s like, who let the munchkin into this basketball convention. Right?  She’s like 5’1 and he’s a huge dude.  How do they even have sex? It is medically possible? Or just lots of oral. I mean, I’m not a doctor, just a concerned citizen.

5. Nick Cannon & Mariah Carey

I mean, they’re both pretty obnoxious people. But I feel like Nick Cannon woke up one day and was like, “I’m going to get myself a middle-aged white songstress so I can really be set for life.” If set means deal with high maintenance bull, than I guess you’re right, Mr. Cannon.

6.  Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise

I guess Mr. Cruise likes to practice Scientology with a younger partner when not having gay sex.  Who can blame him?  Her, I have no excuse for.

7.  Woody Allen & Soon-Yi

God, I just wanna barf. I mean it.  But I know, this is old news, but even seeing Woody Allen with Soon-Yi I need to resist the impulse of performing a citizen’s arrest. Can people still do that?

8. Russell Brand & Katy Perry

Okay, he’s this giganto grungy dude who can’t for the life of him find pants that fit, and she’s this airhead no talented pop tart who likes to wear blue.  I can’t wait to see this fizzle. But for now, newlywed bliss!

9.  Brian Austin Green & Megan Fox

Does she giggle a little when Brian gets his 90210 residual check in the mail.  “Oh honey, that’s so silly! Good for you. Now I’m off to a transformers press junket. Love you lots!” And then he wonders what she meant as he lays on the couch and watches Bridezilla.

10.  Sacha Baron Cohen & Isla Fischer

Another case of munchkin meets giganto.  She’s got to be 100 pounds, and he looks like a wonky giraffe.  Will they last? They’re both sort of hot and hilarious. I guess only time will tell!!!!